about me.
I get a lot of hate mail telling me that I'm a bad person or responding to my musings, but I also get a lot of nice mail from people who actually want to know stuff about me. So just for those people, I've put up this little page about me, answering various queries in no particular order. This stuff is all based on questions I've been asked since I put this site up in '96. Yes, people have asked what I used to make the site, what kind of cel. phone I use, and even what my personality type is. People are weird.




male. (sorry guys) I'm sure that most people who ask that one are horny net geeks


Canadian, though I'm actually from England.


I'm a quarter British, and 25% Welsh, but only .25 parts Irish. The rest is mostly sarcastic bastard.


Oh god, I've no idea. I mean, it's been tested, but I don't particularly care so I don't remember. I was in Mensa (you so don't want to hear that story), so it's in at least the top two percent, but beyond that I've no idea.

interests (many and varied, so I'll only list some here. chances are I'll try it, whatever it is.)

  • The Northern Shaolin seven Star Praying Mantis and Eight Drunken Immortals styles of Kung Fu
  • cooking.
    (just got into this, but it's fascinating. and terribly rewarding.)
  • computer gaming
    (rpg, fps, rts, whatever.)
  • music
    (it's not that I always need music on, but given the choice there's usually something going.)
  • science fiction, in all its forms, though written is the best.
  • technology.
    (probably because of my science fiction fixation)
  • bad movies
    (MST3K or not. either way is good.) If you're into bad movies, check out Badmovies.org
  • creating
    (whether it's writing a story, directing a play, cooking something interesting, painting a landscape, building a new and unique computer, I'm happiest when I'm creating something new. What could be better than that?)
  • offending the offensive.
    (like the ones who send me hatemail or the bible-thumpers who hammer on my door, accost me with pamphlets, etc)

  • one thing I love

    Not life as in Life, like what we all do every day scurrying about trying to find fulfillment. I mean life as in living things. There's nothing as amazing to me as the complexity and diversity that is life in general, and I think it's the most wonderful thing in the universe. That makes me one of those people who looks after sick voles and adopts homeless baby crows and rescues worms from the rain. As a child I used to beat up the kids who went arounds stepping on ants. I found a beetle in my washing machine once, and spent ages nursing him back to health.

    favourite music

    Sarah McLachlan, whose songs of sorrow and longing touch the coldest of hearts.

    After her, far too many to name. The Cure, Reel Big Fish, Dave's True Story.. I like just about all of it. Except country. And polka. No one likes polka.

    favourite movies

    There are so many good movies, but the below are the ones that particularly stand out in my mind just at the moment. I might have missed some, but here they are, in no particular order:
    (not counting B movies, of course)

    anything by the Marx Brothers, particularly Duck Soup.
    The Princess Bride - of course. who doesn't love this one?
    Galaxy Quest - it makes fun of so many of the standard conventions of science fiction
    Explorers - wonderful! terribly under appreciated by the general public
    Batman - dark, gothic, stylised.. excellent. Unquestionably the best of the Batman movies
    Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Movie - hilarious. Tom Servo should have received an Oscar.
    Star Wars: A New Hope - obviously. in my opinion, easily the best of the Star Wars series. but not the special edition.
    Chocolat - so many reasons to enjoy this one
    Blazing Saddles - Mel Brooks proved that he could actually release a funny movie! why he didn't do so more often is anyone's guess.
    The Producers - Mel Brooks's other good movie.
    Office Space - it's so true! it's all so true!
    The Nightmare Before Christmas - magic!
    Time Burton's Corpse Bride - more magic!

    favourite authors

    Isaac Asimov, Terry Pratchett, William Shakespeare, William Gibson, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, Christopher Moore, Oscar Wilde, Douglas Adams, and of course Robert Anson Heinlein. And so many more.

    favourite books:

    I tend to latch onto a particular author, and read everything he/she has to offer, so of the authors I mentioned above, everything. Of other authors, far too many to mention, but here are some that occur to me. I'll add more as I think of them.

  • Neil Gaiman's Neverwhere was wonderful. sadly, it was the only one of his I've read that I can describe that way. his writing was significantly buoyed by Terry Pratchett in Good Omens, though.
  • Lewis Carroll's Alice books, of course. They're wonderful, and so much more complex than they appear on the surface.
  • Flyboy Action Figure Comes With Gasmask I really enjoyed. Lots of fun, a critical examination of society at large through the eyes (kinda) of punk culture, which I normally don't go in for, but it's funny, too.
  • Jo Rowling's Harry Potter series is lots of fun. it's written for a younger audience, of course, but that doesn't mean that you can't enjoy it if you're older.
  • Jon Courtenay Grimwood's Lucifer's Dragon and ReMix were enjoyable, in a slightly more high-tech William Gibson kind of way.
  • The Hobbit is, of course, a timeless classic, and delightful.
  • Dune was ok. The writing style is hard to get past, however, and no matter how good the story is, if you have to fight the style to get to it, it's not as enjoyable. Herbert envisioned a beautifully complete world, but his writing sucks. I couldn't bring myself to try reading any of the other books in the series.
  • Similarly, and I know I'm going to take flack for this, the Lord Of The Rings series is epic in scale but clumsy in execution. Tolkien's purple prose makes it look as though he's trying to be impressive, rather than actually being impressive. The story is wonderful, the characters a delight, but his writing style makes Frank Herbert look elegant. And all those bloody songs.. gah.

  • favourite plays

    I love British pantomime, but only if it's done right. There's so much rubbish out there pretending to be panto that it's quite disheartening.
    The Housekeeper was the first play I ever directed, and it's a charming little thing. Every time I watched it I got all emotional at the end.
    The Importance Of Being Earnest -Oscar Wilde
    Twelfth Night -Willie Shakespeare
    If you haven't read or seen either of these, do so at once. Twelfth Night is, I think, the most underappreciated of Shakespeare's works... certainly of his comedies, and The Importance Of Being Earnest is steeped in the wit and cutting examination of English society that makes Wilde's works such a joy to read.

    favourite programmes

    It's pretty simple. I like stuff that makes me laugh, and I like science fiction, so most of these fit into one of those categories.

  • Doctor Who, by a long way. Both the original and the new. It's quite simply the most imaginitive, eccentric, delightful programme on television, and it's a shame that most people can't get past the low budget special effects of the original series. There's so much more to science fiction than pretty effects and makeup.
  • The Avengers (with Mrs. Peel, of course). Eccentric as only British television can be, it was farfetched, camp, and delightful.
  • The Young Ones. British alternative comedy. You'll either love it or not understand it.
  • Farscape. A far cry from Pigs In Space. It was delightful to see aliens who aren't necessarily humanoid. It gets a bit soap opera at times, but it's a wonderful series.
  • Star Trek: The Next Generation. Yes, I know what everyone says about Star Trek, and they're largely right. It's not hard SF, it's not even vaguely aroused SF, it's SF for non-SF fans. It's space opera, drama in a science fiction setting. But that's the point. It's a forum for social commentary, using alien people and situations analogous to those of our own world. If that's not science fiction, what is?
  • Dangerous Brothers. Like The Young Ones, but more so. I first saw it when a friend leant it to me. As he handed over the tape he warned me not to watch them all at once. But, of course, I loved it so much that I had to watch the whole series, all in one go. And then I had to make my friends watch the whole series, all in one go. Most of them are ok now, though. They're back to living relatively productive lives.
  • Bottom. Sort of a more mature version of Dangerous Brothers, in that it has a story. Usually. A beautiful combination of mindless humour/violence and intelligent humour/violence. And the live version (particularly Hooligan's Island) is brilliant.
  • Red Dwarf. Obviously. If you've never seen it, do so immediately. The series starts on a very high note and works its way steadily down, until season eight is vaguely uncomfortable to watch because it's such a hollow shell of the earlier seasons, but it's well worth watching at least seasons one to four.
  • Black Adder. Throughout history there have been people who are looked to in times of need, people known for their generosity of spirit and their moral fortitude. There have also been complete and utter bastards like Edmund Blackadder, and that's what makes this programme so much fun to watch.
  • Python. You already know what Python is. Yes you do. Yes you do. Yes you do. Yes you do. Yes you do. Yes you do. Yes you do. Yes you do. Yes you do. Yes you do. Yes you do. Yes you do. Yes you do. Yes you do. Yes you do. I'm sorry, is this the five minute argument or the full half-hour?
  • Buffy. It's immature, angsty, overly teen, but it's also very well written, intelligent, very funny, and quite moving at times. I had to watch Firefly before I was enough of a Joss fan to give Buffy a chance, but it's worth it.
  • Angel. Angel was such an interesting Buffyverse character that they gave him his own show, and in many ways it's more interesting than Buffy. Certainly better developed. The amount of experience that Joss had amassed by the time Angel began is very obvious. The moving bits are more moving, the silly bits more silly. Numfar! Do the dance of joy!
  • Firefly. This, I think, is Joss's masterpiece, but sadly the shortsighted network killed it before it had a chance to establish a fan-base. I've acquired the box set, and everyone to whom I've shown it has become an instant fan. Brilliantly conceived and written, with a wonderful cast and excellent production values, the series is actually much better than the movie because there's more humour, more character development, more depth. So if you liked Serenity, you'll love Firefly.
  • Father Ted. It's so surreal. Feck! Arse! Gerls!
  • Mystery Science Theater 3000. So much fun!
    There are others, too, but this is getting rather too long.

  • Aqua Teen Hunger Force. Brilliantly funny in so many ways! A shining example of madness.
  • Sealab 2021. Complete insanity, very politically incorrect in all of the right ways, and funny enough in parts to actually make me fall out of my chair laughing. My current favourite in the [Adult Swim] lineup, this is the show that brought us the Five Jew Bankers, who secretly control the world from the Death Star Of David, the Nine Nights of Krebula, and the return of Erik Estrada to regular television appearances.
  • Harvey Birdman, Attorney At Law. Another excellent resurrection of a Hanna Barbera.. um.. classic. It makes you laugh an awful lot.
  • South Park. Wonderfully observed and brilliantly written.
    And a whole bunch of anime.

  • favourite sports

    Sports. Those are those meatspace emulations of games like NHL 2000 and NBA Jam, right?


    eyes: hazel
    (but subject to change without notice. contacts, you know.)

    currently: hazel

    mandatory low quality webcam image
    (or black or indigo or whatever. depends.)

    currently: reddish-brown.
    weight:yes. last check I was.. ummmm.. 5.737e+28 amu. For those who don't measure in amu, that's 28050 denarium, or 1076000 halk. Of course, I don't look it. I work out, and I walk a lot to keep my girlish figure.


    yeah yeah. I'm a web designer and a tech support rep and a graphic artist. But mostly tech support these days.


    Seventh Day Advent McLachlanist


    Ariel, Queen of the Cat People. She's getting chubby.. now when she sits, you can't see her back feet. I'm working on putting her on a diet, but she's not co-operating.
    Belle, feline fountain. I've never met a cat who could produce so much saliva. Many's the time I've been awoken thinking that there must be a leak in the ceiling, only to discover the cat lurking. And drooling.
    Thomas the vicious, bloodthirsty parrot. Arr.
    Daisy, the adorable lurcher (border collie/greyhound cross).
    Geesler, and Gunther, the lovebirds. They live in a coconut, and they're very curious, so they examine you very closely whenever you get near enough.
    Tweetypie, the budgie who lives with and terrorises the lovebirds.


    a jet black 2001 Hyundai Tiburon SE.
    a 2003 Kawasaki ZZ-R250 in black with a metallic blue pearl finish.


    Taurus/Gemini cusp

    favourite foods

    SUSHI! uh.. [ahem] Sushi is pretty good.
    fish and chips
    roast lamb
    coffee. I can't live without it. Not because of the caffeine (I have such a tolerance now that it has no effect) but because I just love the rich taste
    There's a lot more.. I love to eat, but those are my first choices. :)
    And most recently, I've discovered how much more satisfying it is to eat something that I myself have cooked.

    favourite quote

    "Fashion is what one wears one's self. What is unfashionable is what other people wear. Just as vulgarity is simply the conduct of other people. And falsehoods the truths of other people. Other people are quite dreadful. The only possible society is one's self. To love one's self is the beginning of a lifelong romance."
    -Lord Goring, from An Ideal Husband by Oscar Wilde


    Vancouver, Beautiful British Columbia, Canada
    Splendor Sine Occasu

    Here's a bit about my local scene, as it were.


    I'm never really on ICQ, though.

    msn messenger

    saucylittlemonkeyboy, at hotmail.

    personality type

    according to Kiersey.

    And in case you're wondering, you can find out what an INTP is at INTP.org

    favourite description

    An old lady once said to a girl I was with: "Your young man... he's got the devil in his eyes."
    I quite liked that.

    web design software

    Just notepad and Photoshop.
    If I'm feeling saucy, I use a Wacom tablet to make some graphics. You know what you can do with your FrontPage.

    phone (Why do people need to know this?)

    32 GB iPhone 4

    As much as I hate Apple, there aren't words to describe how awesome this is.

    pda (Or this?)

    HP iPaq 110 Classic
    It's excellent. The battery life is stellar, the display is crisp and gorgeous, and it's ridiculously light.
    Sadly, I barely use it any more, as it's been replaced by the iPhone.

    if you need me, just email.
    you know how to do that, don't you?
    just put your cursor here and click

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