We here at the Microscot Software Buggering Group realise that there may be those users who lack experience with computers, and who may require assistance. We are therefore proud to present the Microscot Technical Support Page, wherein we hope to answer some of the more frequent questions that our users may have. We feel that the best way to do this is to use transcripts of actual calls to our highly trained technical support staff. Should you have any further questions, please feel free to contact us at our 800 number.

Microscot Representative: Microscot Software Technical Support. Jock speaking. What do you want? Caller: I can't get my Microscot Web Buggerer to show graphics. Microscot Representative: Are you Scottish? Caller: Um.. no. Microscot Representative: Then FUCK OFF! Microscot Representative: Microscot Software Technical Support. Haemish speaking. What do you want? Caller: I can't get to your home page. Is your internet busted? Microscot Representative: Are you Scottish? Caller: Er.. no? Microscot Representative: Then FUCK OFF! Microscot Represntative: Microscot Software Technical Support. Dougal speaking. What do you want? Caller: My software says "winkilt.dll not found. Are you down? Microscot Representative: Are you Scottish? Caller: Ah.. no. Microscot Representative: Then FUCK OFF! Microscot Representative: Microscot Software Technical Support. Angus speaking. What do you want? Caller: How do I change my Microscot O/S Buggerer 95 wallpaper? Microscot Representative: Are you Scottish? Caller: Why yes, actually. Microscot Representative: Well then that's easy. Just click on yer right moose button on yer tabletop and pick the tartan of yer choice.

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