THE GOD COMPLEX

Today we answer a prayer. We address the educated arrogant. Those who think education equals worth. The ones who think pathetic mortal learning equates value to the human cause. The sad, the many, the self-described intellectuals.

Wigglies, there is no more pathetic creature in your world than the mortally educated dweeb. You all know them by their call. Shriller than human hearing can painlessly endure. A sound more irritating than a lovesick tom cat. "I am learned, therefore I am." And for those of this ilk who are attempting to truly gain enlightenment, a word. You are not learned on the Mountain, therefore you are not.

You all know these confused souls, True Believers. Smelly little people with smelly little lives. They come from all walks of life. As We provided all creatures, we have given them some survival skills. Some may wear the guise of achievement. They may appear athletic, handsome, virile, fertile, human, or any of a variety of illusionary states. Why, you may ask, did we gift them thusly? In truth, the idea came up the same day we gave the sloth long toenails, so it could hang in trees for weeks on end. Pity for the pitiful.

The accountants, who deal with vast fortunes, controlling financial empires with their pencils and erasers. Intellectual giants, or cretins who can add? Surgeons, talents hands carefully extracting damaged parts from an otherwise healthy body. Gifted healers or guys who like blood and slept through Gross Anatomy 101, cheated on the test, and got a license to malpractice medicine. Engineers who raise great buildings for all of humanity to admire awestruck. Wigglies, the Pyramids are thousands of years old, and these calculator jockeys can't do any better than Lego building just like the one down the street. Educated genius or underachievers with no ability to contribute to the planet? The truth, Piglets, is clear.

These sad creatures are not without value, however. The are toys that can provide hours of amusement. Challenge them to prove their education. Not only do they have proof of their degree, but they undoubtedly have laminated copies you can keep. (These are especially useful as washable cage liners for your parakeet.)

However, True Believers, We must not stray from Our lessons. We must address the intellectually arrogant. These are the most pathetic of the entire single-celled lot. These are the ones who would have you believe that they are entitled to more pay because they went to school for 7 years. Living off mommy and daddy for an extra blood sucking decade. Or begging student loans from the already taxed public coffers. And for this, they deserve a greater financial reward than those who entered the work force to work in mills and factories, contributing to humanity at an early age. Providing tax dollars for health, infrastructure, student loans. All because of the intense fear of entering the world. An inability to let mommy cut the umbilical cord before they were 25 years old. But still they cry, "Give me more money that the supermarket worker. Reward me for hiding from the responsibilities of an adult. Gift me for my extended adolescence. I am a baby, hear me whine!"

But now, Wigglies, let us step back. These creatures are not demanding of scorn, but of our most tolerant pity. Look down upon them with the knowledge. But for the grace of THE GOD COMPLEX there go I.

NightSlayer