1. If, when wearing spandex top, the flesh beneath your armpits can be catagorized as the part inside or the part hanging outside, you are in violation of the Laws.
2. While wearing a spandex half top, you look down and find that your view of the ground is in anyway obscured by the part of your stomach that bulges beyond the border of you clothing, you are in violations of the Laws.
3. When viewed from in spandex pants, you give the illusion of more than one set of cheeks, condition is referred to as "waterfall butt", you are vulgarly in violation of the Laws.
4. Gentlemen. If age or cruel genetics has sent you butt and your hair to the same place socks go from the dryer, you are in clear violation of the Laws.
5. If your body in spandex could be best described as a bag full of wrestling bulldogs, you are in undeniable violation of the Laws.
6. If any parts of you body, when in motion, would be acurately described as "woobling", you should immediately desist, for you are in violation of the Laws.
7. If, upon careful observation, a trained eye could identify stress fractures on your femur, you need to up your protein intake for you are too thin. And you violate the Laws.
8. While wearing spandex, if your legs appear to be akin to a bolemic stork, you violate the Laws.

And thus we conclude the current Laws of Spandex. Because we are THE GOD COMPLEX, we of course reserve the right to change in whole or in part any of the text herein. And there's nothing you can do about it. Go in peace.