thanks for choosing god.

speaking of scams...
Help me Obi-Wan Kenobi. You're my only hope.

Over the years I've received a lot of hatemail, but I've also received a lot of positive mail. Things like "hey, this site doesn't suck." and "with some actual content this site might be ok." Yeah, well.. that's true. But, I've also received some mail that is happy and good. I give you, McHappy Mail!
I've cut the headers, as is my wont. You all know who you are. :)
Oh, and if you see this, and you decide that you don't want your kind words displayed for the world to see, let me know, and I'll think about taking them down.

Oh yeah, the M logo is trademarked by McDonald's, and no copyright infringement is intended.

"Subject: americans really do suck...

Hi there Mr. Canadian cutey-pie,

I have to admit, rather sheepishly, that out of sheer laziness (how very American of me) that I haven't extensively read through your site. However, I did read through your hatemail, the section on animal cruelty (but it's art!), and snippets of a few other sections. Although I do not consider myself an atheist, more of an agnostic, your musings on religion and political/social issues were beautiful.

I would, firstly, like to apologize for the fact that I am an American. After reading your hatemail section I felt that oh-so-familiar sense of total humiliation at the fact that I share a land mass with those people. What a bunch of morons! You are correct, most Americans can't drive, speak or think on an even marginally acceptable level. We are also, on the one-hand, religiously fanatical and on the other hand, we have no problem with killing hundreds or thousands of people overseas to forward our own political/economic (especially economic) agenda. We are a land full of spoiled, lazy, uneducated, chubby, angry little hypocrites that have done little or nothing to better the world we live in. That being said, I now hang my head in shame (sigh).

I would like to say that those people that have littered your hatemail box with all of that moronic, albeit entertaining, material are not representative of the majority, but unfortunately, they are. I know only too well the pain of dealing with Americans--and it is really, really painful. You have my sincerest apologies. At any rate, I have made a mental note to check your website often, as I think it may well have become one of my favorites. It truly comforts me to know that there are other thinking people in the world, even if those people don't live anywhere near me. Thanks for existing!

Hail Satan! (teehee, chuckle, chuckle)

"Subject: Your site is awesome.

Your site seriously rocks. A friend gave me the address awhile ago and its been the best site Ive gone on in a long time. Everytime I got to it I laugh to no end. The arguements with Christians and the hate mail are hilarious, and the people who write hate mail seriously have waaay to much time on their hands. Anytime I get into an arguement with Christians who no nothing of their own bloody religion I use your site and it has helped me immensly with converting(?)them to atheists. So once again great site, keep up the good work.


"Subject: Ahh the truth.

LOVED the site! Im only 15, but I love being Atheist. so HA i'd like to see those Christains get me. I found all the hate mail quite amusing. I love how you call us all "yankees" I'd like to speak on the um..small percetage of smarter Americans. Although, I am not proud to be an American, and i hate Bush. I would really love more to live in either England, or Canada. After all, Canada has better Hockey (although, I do love the wings) i will not say that me country is better than anyones, because frankly, i think it's a crap-pit, but who am I to judge. back on the Atheist subject, I was very proud of myself, I converted two ignorant Christains, and wow, are they happy now! Finally seeing the real truth, they are able to think (Just as your site states) I'm constantly frustrated by the Christains and Bible Thumpers (although, they are the same thing i suppose) always bothering me. At your site, it's a break from them, and my overly patriotic neighbors. So in closing, i'd just like to say, Awsome site, love your views on both Atheism, and America. Keep spreading the word!

Slightly edited for the privacy of the writer

"Subject: Love your website

Dear Wildsong.
It's incredibly hard to write to a genius, especially when you're not the best writer yourself. Although I am wise enough (wise - pff - more like common sense) to gather this:
1.) It's irksome enough to have blithering morons in your towns. Having them run your country is completely unreasonable.
2.) I'm atheist. Keep it down though. I'd rather not know what my family would do to me.
3.) I want to live in Canada. I even know the prime minister and memorized the national anthem! Try to find more 14 year old Americans that know that!
Anyway, I was wondering if you have any book suggestions for me? You seem to have a good taste in authors.
Haha. I thought it was funny that your last fan letter was written by a 15 year old American. Could it be possible that Wildsong is secretly forming an army of teenaged atheists?
Anyway, keep up your awesome website, and you know the deal. Really, you're smart enough to know you are the coolest person ever, I don't have to tell you that.

"Subject: Atheism

Wow! ^_^ Your site... It was so incredible. I am sure you have gotten comments just as good... I laughed. It made me laugh! As serious as it may be.. It made me laugh.. because it is just so true. I understood everything you ranted about. It was terrific. I read the page over again.. To get a better understanding, but wow! I'm almost speechless.. yet I'm talking. Hmm. I just wanted to say very nice work.

The reasonings I do not believe in "The God" is mainly because, there are many religions. So different from Christianity. Everyone believes something.. Whose to say Christianity is the only truth?? It makes no sense.. People can bar off other religions because they believe one thing... while the other people believe another... just as much.. So I say mankind created this "God" in order to better fit the minds of humanity.. and tend to them.. Allow them to see that something may happen to them... They will go to this place.. "Heaven."

It's to stop the Mayhem this World has already created..

I am somewhat in belief of Buddhism. Maybe we will come back.. as different beings... Like the Anime Show "Please Save My earth." Very much Inspirational on my part...

Very nice work. Once again.

" Subject: Your site is excellent!

I am at home unwell - AGAIN - & got to you through circuitous means - googled Jealousy & got your excellent site. Damn you! I'm supposed to be in bed recuperating and instead am sitting here getting cold and simultaneously laughing my head off. Fabulous links. Fabulous ideas. Were we separated at birth?!

The site looks great (I love yellow, it's so cheerful). How could anyone send you hate mail? I got some myself from the Bible Belt when I wrote to criticise their anti-Satanism and Witchcraft site for its anti-feminism rantings (according to their checklist, I am a Satanist - the only thing I don't do is eat raw meat - who knew?!).

I'm female, ANCIENT* and married but still have roving eye for men who THINK. You are not only on My Favourites but I'm furiously e-mailing everyone I know to add you too.

Best wishes.

" I really like what you've done with your time. If somehow there was a way to get the contents of the site to the attention of the public (not everyone knows about the site, which is a real shame) there would be a lot less problems in the world. I'm with you on the atheism bit. I have my own opinions about it too, very similar to yours. I'm still a bit of an agnostic though, but atheism really makes sense to me. My entire family is Christian, and they think I am one too. I haven't told them what I really believe in. It would start a world of trouble if I did...anyways, I just wanted to say thanks for getting straight the misguided beliefs of so many people. You're a real genius, man. Keep it up. "

" Subject: Bear my children

Your rants = my head on paper. I don't actually want you to bear my children. I don't intend to have children. But the gun control thing... yeah. Wow. That's all I have to say about that. There aren't words to describe it... except "there aren't words to describe it".

Loving the water java applet thing on the image. Very fun. I am amused by small things. That being one of them.

Mc Happy Mail to you, from me, Allison.
You're welcome to email me back. I like feedback to my feedback. :)

" hey, was surfing when i came across your site, very cool. They layout is excellent and you seem like a great bloke, the articles are funny and the love of sci-fi is more than admirable. Found myself drawn to the hatemail however, and ouch! some people really do have part time brains. again great job and very funny. "

" Hey, I found your site through Google on a topic which was absolutely no relevance to your site. But anyways, I thought your site was worth a look and I was glad I visited it.

I think that your opinions about the attacks are logical and worth expressing to the American public. They need to realize their egotistical ways and the fact that there is much more going on around them.

I am a proud Canadian who shares your opinions. Good job and good luck with your website.

" Greetings and salutations
I just wanted to drop a line in thanks -- your page has been providing me with entertainment and an interesting (and different) viewpoint for about 5 years now. Yes, I am american . . .you're still one of the better informed and more literate sites I can find (all that about 10 thousand chimps at 10 tousand typewriters has definately been disproven by the net). Thanks for the wry and insightful commentary and for the damn hilarious bits too.

" I loved your site! I admit I have a warped sense of humour, but an athiest talking about what 'god knows' amuses the hell out of me. (No pun intended of course.) I know you just use it as a figure of speech, but it's still funny : ) I really admire the hostile, tongue in cheek views you take to the hatemail you get, and life in general. Just know there are christians out there who have absolutely no interest in showing up at your front door dressed like MIB extras! lol.

(IF you have no idea what I'm talking about see response to '
fuck you America is the best country is the fucking world!' in hatemail)

" I love that page, and really need to show it to some of my friends. Thank you for posting it. "

" To the sexy webmaster...
Mr. Bean is scary

"just add it to the mchappy pile already...

Dearest James,

1) your site is amazing. You already know this, from what I gather. Lots of people have already told you the same things I'm going to tell you.

2) I'm writing an essay on the Picture of Dorian Gray for my independent study unit. Have you read it? Probably, so I won't waste your time. I bet you like Aubrey Beardsley, but I could be wrong.

3) christianity sucks, Bush sucks, and sexist women suck as well. unprosletyzing atheists, Tommy Douglas, and Christopher Marlowe are amazing.

4) you're not nearly as ugly as you think you are. (this from someone who is ten years younger than you), and not many people can get away with using so many fonts and a ketchup-and-mustard colour scheme (your content, as well as the organization, saves your site tremendously).

5) I'm Canadian. But Our premier over here is Ernie Eves, and he gives tax breaks to private school children. What's even more odd is that to commemorate his generosity, he visited a dutch reform school during racial tolerance week.

6) And thus concludeth it.


Yours ,with undying respect,

p.s. you don't need to reply to this. Just stating the obvious here.

">I'm just hot.

You sure are!

um.. i.. um... [BLUSH]

What on earth do you say to something like that?

This one lives here and in Hatemail, because it appears to be both.

" Hi there,

I checked out your site for a little while longer than I should have, given your apparent stupidity. You have excellent writing skills, especially for a geek. (And an excellent taste in authors, I might add, again despite said stupidity) If only you had something worthwhile to write about! Otherwise, I found your drivel most humourous, even for a scank Brit such as yourself.

My country can kick your country's ass,

" ohmygod!!!

Sorry to act kinda valley-girl like, but you are kick ass, dude! Finally, someone out there who 1) is smart 2) doesn't believe in God and that all that shit (and sees it for what it really is) and 3) thinks the US is a bunch of pathetic fools.

Let me introduce myself. My name is Lisa. Believe it or not, I am from the US, specifically, Chicago. I am 20 years old and I attend a local school and my major at the current moment is political science because I want to teach. Moreover, I want to teach because I want to make teens aware of what's up with their government and how they can impact the country.

I personally believe the same things you do... well, for the most part. God and religion are crocks, the US government and the people who are being raped in the ass by it are stupid bastards, and I believe that a major reason there is so much violence in the world is because of the us. (I'd like to get into details, but I don't have the time to at the moment)

The only thing I differ with you on is that I do believe there was a Jesus, but I don't believe he was the messiah, but I believe he was a person who preached certain things. That's it.

Anyways, I don't have much time, so I must depart. Good luck with everything you do and PLEASE email me back. I really would love to swap emails with you! :)

Good Times,

" i like your site. its interesting and funny. umm where is the guest book? i would love to sign. so well i wish i had more to say but this lack of sleep thing is kinda nerve racking and mind power depleting....did i just say mind power i sound stupid. so anyways.. good morning night day or when ever you get this little note. "

" You forgot in your I AM section : that you are a fluffy demon and oh yaa damn sexy. "

" Well Hello,

In my opinion if one wants to insult someone, they should do it with some style don't you?

Well, I am not going to slag you off, I had a pleasant time on your site and was so delighted to see someone quote Oscar Wilde I got quite carried away.

I do hope you can see my gif as it is my current fave and modelled upon me.....

I wonder do you like The Smiths at all? its just that your particular sense of wit and irony lend themselves to appreciate this ratehr fabulous british institution, but you don't mention them so, feeling cheeky and slightly brave I thought i would ask. post smiths morrisey has done fabulous things also.....

well, ciao for now.

You have actually made me wonder if I can summarise myself with 24 words so i am going away to try now.

well, its been fun.

" Hi,
I've just partaken in the perusal of your web site...brilliant. You are obviously gifted with a fantastic sense of humour, irony (you can tell your originally British!) and intelligence. It must be worth the effort just for the hate mail you have received! You've just got to love the all embracing compassion of the US and Christianity.
I hope you don't stop there, please continue to expand, and maybe we can get rid of all the boring, fanatical crap that is clogging up the internet.
Yours in admiration

" Hello my name is stephanie, I just recently came across you're site. I read the Tyne Daly article, and all that bullshit hatemail.

I am a catholic woman, who is a huge fan of Tyne Daly, but I have to say, I LOVED YOUR SITE. Most people were offended when they read your column about Ms. Daly, but you are right. She was being a bit sexist, and I dont understand all that about men being jealous of pregnancy.
Anyway, I just wanted to say, your site made me laugh and I enjoyed it.

" Ack!!!!!! your "me" page makes my eyes cross! Evil evil evil evil fiend of colour combinations

oh, the pain

This is another one that lives here and in Hatemail.

" Subject: Your website sucks!

Dear Canadian Scumbucket,

I just wanted to take a few moments to let you know that your website sucks. It is obviously an extension of yourself so therefore you suck as well. Let me add this… Canada sucks! What? You want to know why my country, United States of America, is so great? Okay, I’m glad you inquired… let me tell you…

This country has…well… ummm… well, it has freedom…no, that’s not right… thanks to the Patriot Act 1 and 2… well, we have the greatest school system… no, wait… high school graduates are reading on a 7th grade level…. Okay, okay… how about this… the President is a great… FUCK!!! Okay, I’m getting depressed… do you need a roommate?

Actually, the real reason why I am writing is that I am too lazy to keep searching… where the hell is that flaming pope bit I heard about?

I love your site… and hail Satan (I just like saying that… really gets those Christians going). Thanks for your site and the fun I have had… I’ll probably end up finding that before you reply but I just wanted to write anyway…. BLAME CANADA!!!! Hey, can you say "About" for me… just once… c’mon….!

" Subject: Your site still sucks!

Okay, not really... but I just wanted to let you know that I found the flaming pope bit... how rude... how tasteless... how blasphemous... how fucking funny.... by the way, I read that you were from England so I guess the saying "about" is pointless... unless of course you've been in Canada long enough... huh... well.... give it a try.... I just thought of something... I need to get a life...

" Great site, I had fun there! Thanks :-) "

" Hi,
For some time now, I've had your link on my site, and quite honestly, every time I go for a visit or anyone I know goes - we all think the same thing - Have you ever thought of giving up your Saturday job and taking on the papacy? I mean, the poor buggar (Pope) was on his knees last I saw of him.

I've put your 'Best viewed with Microscot' thingy gif on my site, might get a few more through those portals of yours.

Good luck, may you keep being irreverent - its what makes the world tick old cocker.

" Fantastic WebSite! You have a great sense of humor. I've taken (and passed) the A+ course and currently taking N+ Comptia. After that, starting August 9 I'm taking 3 courses in Web Design CIW certified, part of which includes Html. Hope to make a living at it someday. Way to go on the site, very amusing. "Inside my pants" had to look, very cute.

You must of been joking about the hate mail.

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